Hai, assalamualaikum. After all these years, i feel like there is nothing much that i would like to share with all of you here. It's been two years since i last updating my story life and i have never thought i would do the same thing today. It's just that for these few months, i have been all alone. I don't really have someone who i can listen to my problems, give their opinion and so on. Instead, i'm all alone, facing all these things.
To be honest, aku tak tahu nak cerita dekat siapa pasal masalah aku ni. It's just that i think i would be in a huge depression if i keep on simpan masalah ni sendiri. Boleh jadi gila rasanya. Eventhough sharing my story here takkan dapat menyelesaikan masalah aku. At least, aku rasa lega dapat luahkan semua.
Like most of us do, i have problem regarding 'love'. I really hate this feelings. Aku keep on rindukan dia, tertunggu tunggu whatsapp daripada dia. But, nothing! Hampa! Online, but not even say a word to me. Seriously pilu. and macam macam datang kat fikiran. Dia dah ada orang lain ke? Dia dah tak suka aku. jujur aku cakap, he is such a nice person. Always lend me his strength whenever i needed one. Always listen to my problem and give his opinion. Salah aku jugak sebab aku reject dia dulu. All because of i'm confused with my own feelings! Bila difikirkan balik, seriously regret sangat sangat. Why am i so stupid at that time? Why did i leave such a nice guy to be with someone else? Why?! I keep on asking the same questions to myself. And yet, i don't have the exact answer why i do that.
And now i know, it really hurts when we keep on waiting for him, and we don't even know whether he remember us or not! Walaupun dia cakap do contact him whenever i miss him, tapi i malu. After all that i have done to him, i don't think i deserve such a nice guy like him. But, my heart still won't listen to me. still jugak nak berharap supaya dia lupakan kisah lama and terima aku balik. terasa macam aku nak cakap je yang aku dah menyesal dengan apa yang aku dah buat kat dia dulu. All i hope now is his forgiveness and also hoping that he would say that he still loves me. Serious nak sangat tanya dia. Tapi malu! What if i get the opposite answer? Bukan ke aku jugak yang kecewa? I'm not ready for it. Seriously.
Right now, what i can do is hoping that he knows that i really miss him right now, really really miss him. 😢
